Sweet Corn Contract

What is it about sweet corn? Can someone please tell me the secret to growing it? I LOVE eating it, I LOVE freezing it so I can eat it in December, and I LOVE growing things. So why can I NOT grow sweet corn???

There must be a secret, some trick that I need to learn. Maybe I'm not planting deep enough, or maybe too deep. Maybe I'm not planting early enough, or maybe too early. Maybe I'm not humming the right tune, or holding my tongue just right as I am tending the young sprouts.

I have tried several times to grow the delicious veggie only to have to fail and come to the conclusion that i can't do it. My sprouts die, or they shoot up to 2 ft tall, get tassels, and then die. Or they blow over in the wind, they give off naked ears or half full ears. Never have I successfully brought a meals worth of sweet corn to the table.

BUT, this year I am determined to be smarter than the corn. Full of optimism, I planted a few small rows of corn, hoping for the best. Well, they got flooded out. So, I planted more corn. This time I planted more rows that were longer than the first ones. And they are doing wonderfully. I am super excited to see that so far, this crop has far exceeded any attempt I have ever made.

But, let's back up a few months. Greg thought I was wasting my time and garden space by growing sweet corn. And he said something like this, "I bet you can't grow enough sweet corn for one meal." Not one for turning away from a challenge, I said something like, "Oh, you're on!" We even wrote up a contract, signed it, and posted it on the fridge using alphabet magnets. I am so going to win this one. If I can grow 3 ears of corn, Greg promises to add 6 feet to my garden. If I fail, my garden remains the same size. I did make a note that if I lose, I will weep bitter tears and get my own way anyway. lol I had to scribble it out and initial the change on the contract.

I've had a few people warn me of raccoons saying they will come in and strip the sweet corn as soon as it is ripe. I've decided the only thing to do then is sit out there with my 22 bolt action rifle and guard my precious crop. I'm a pretty good aim, so the furry little critters need to be careful whose sweet corn they steal. Every time it rains, my corn stalks fall over, so I am thankful they are planted by my old fences I left standing after my peas were done. I just lean them back up and hope they will be fine. Maybe I should take some string and tie the stalks to the wire fence so they won't blow over again.

So far this crop has tasseled and I'm hoping to see some ears soon. I did have a few plants from before that did not get flooded out, and that is the ear I picked today. So, I'm a third of the way there. Watch out, Greg. I fully expect to grow 2 more ears.

In the meantime, does anyone know how to grow sweet corn???